Well today's been one of those downswing kind of days. Its had a rough start- I couldn't fall asleep and then spent the majority of the what time I was “sleeping” tossing and turning. I think its due in part to the stress of not having a job at this particular moment. Eventually that will even out, as I am really hopefully with this job at the Car Dealership. With luck that will help me stabilize my sleep pattern. I am currently working on a schedule for myself to work on what time I'm getting up, going to bed and keeping myself on some sort of routine. I'm tossing in some ritual-esque type things that will help me I hope. Not just the general everyday things that I typically have to accomplish but little small things that I will enjoy on a weekly basis depending on how things are going. This will include things like making sure that I am going out at least once a week to karaoke. It is something that I enjoy immensely, and it only costs a few cents in gas to drive down the road to go sing. I don't have to drink when I go out so water is generally free. What an evening!



I just feel... stuck. I do the same things day in and day out. I'm in the same apartment, I never leave unless its for an errand or something, not necessarily for anything for or a chance of scenery. Now granted come two weeks from now there is a convention I am going to go to but until then I feel like I keep staring at the same 4 ( or 8 if you call my apartment two large rooms) walls day in and out. I'm not getting out enough, before I used to think that I was, but not anymore. I'm going stir crazy for the most part. Even then there are times that I get out and I'm not comfortable where I am, or I just don't want to be there and I'd almost, in that moment at least, rather be at home.



I am most definitely in a downswing, though I think its the same downswing I've been in for a while, I just haven't fully pulled out of it yet. There have been some really great moments and good times, but I'm not in the clear yet. I am not sure if it would be better if I was able to get a change of scenery, or if I just need to find something to occupy my time until I hear about the job offer.



I think my job situation has been less than helpful to this swing. I had someone look at my resume and in the near exact words,” Your education makes you overqualified for several jobs, but your job history makes you look like a flake.” Its not that I don't mind going to somewhere stupid and getting a job, but I don't need to continue to rack up a job history that makes me look like a employee with absolutely no dedication. That is potentially the one good thing about this job at the Automobile place- It make give me a job that I can enjoy and stay in while I work at several things. I am sure I could do some night classes after work amongst other things. But I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch. The harder part is sitting here going- If this job falls through what else am I going to get. I tried Subway again now that its under new management- still no luck. I put in application for Cumberlands but I haven't gotten so much as a call for an interview :(



Have to stay positive and hope that I pull out of this soon...



Love you...
Always

me