The good news is that I made it a week before I got hit with another bad day. The best I can say is that at least this time it was for a good reason. A reason that to this moment still hurts me.
You aren't coming home for your leave. You aren't even taking your leave.
It is so hard to swallow, I understand why you don't want to leave your guys. But to say that you won't come home unless I find out im pregnant makes NO SENSE. You don't want family breathing down our necks or taking up time for us, and knowing that you have to leave again in 15 days hanging over us. But if I'm pregnant, don't you think thats going to be even worse?
Do you understand how much it hurts sitting here, becuase the way it comes off is that just me... I'm not important enough for you to come home, but if I'm finally carrying your baby I'm worth all the stress.
How about this...
I'M YOUR FUCKING WIFE. Family needs to accept that... you and I have as much of a right to free time, and time to spend together as WE please. Not when we can fit it into their schedules. I know this sounds harsh, but if you come home why can't you tell them that you and I need time. We need to work us out... It hurts, and I can't find any other way to put it. As much as I try to "rationalize" things and stop trying to feel like this has something to do with me...
I need you...
I don't know what to say anymore... I guess theres nothing I can say. You've decided that you're not coming home, it doesn't matter what I say.
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