Thoughts...

Last night, I was invited to go out to dinner and drinks with Audra, Ben and Freaky.  Audra is Ben's wife, and Audra owns Ben.  Freaky is the one that is highly interested in me.  We had chili's and then went to a small local little dive bar.  It was a good relaxing time.  Of course, after the bar closed we went out to the parking lot, and stood around talking for a while.  

It was starting to rain a bit, so I took off the sweater I was wearing so that only my tank top would get wet.  Mind you before this Audra was a bit intrigued by my breasts.  It was amusing becuase she started off more poking them, one of those. " Oooh, its fluffy" " wow.. it jiggles, I mean it moves?" It moved from the poking to lifts of intergiue, and then turns into a giggle fit of Oooh this is fun.  Mind you we're standing in the parking lot, and Audra is now slapping at them and making them move, jsut because she is suddenly intrigued with the fact that they move.  I was laughing my ASS off! So was Freaky, and ben and krystal and laughing into each others shoulder laughing hysterically.  With Ben going "oh my gawd shes acting like a 13 yr old boy."  It was entertaining to say the least.

Which also brings up another question-  I was telling Freaky about your conditions, and Audra wanted to know if Ben was allowed to be around for anything non-sexual that happenedto help with things if Ben didn't touch me in any way? Audra uses Ben as her right hand. 

That is besides the point. 

One of the things I have been thinking about more recently is about what happened the last time I played with someone other than my Sir.  aka my Birthday spanking gone terribly wrong.  I have put a good deal of thought into this, and my reasons are this-

I've only really played with my Sir or had him there when I 've tried something new (the violet wand) and I think that to an extent I take scening, or playing or anything of that like as something special, something that I am not exactly going to willy nilly go out and do with whomever feels that they would like to play with me.  Its part of me that its something close to me, its not something that I take lightly.

When I had that spanking, I didn't get the closeness of the aftercare that I typically enjoy with my Sir. I know that my Sir is looking out for me, even when I'm left tied up for a bit.  His hands are on me, rubbing my back, soothing me.  Or when I'm released I'm curled up on the floor by or under his feet on my blanket.  For me thats a contact thing, I'm in his little bubble im still close to Him. 

I think that becuase I was left at the hands of people that I didn't know it was difficult for me to take.  In addition that my Sir wasn't there.  Then there was the lack of my prefered but of after care.  Wrapped in a sheet and for the most part allowed to just lay on the floor, by myself.  my Sir wasn't there near me, and no one really stepped up to take that not that I would have wanted someone to.

I have already brought some of this up with Freaky- about what happened last time, How I feel about things- that I don't take play lightly, and that I need to be in the proximity of someone should play take place.  She is very understanding and knows how I feel  when it comes to both playing in general and about aftercare.  She has gained alot of my trust, and I think thats a good thing. 

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♥Always♥
your wench